Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
