my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
