i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
