Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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