Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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