i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
