i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
