I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
