dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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