How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
