i think i have herpe
just one?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
