my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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