even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
