its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
