i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
