We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
