On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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