she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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