I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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