We're facebook friends in real life
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
she peed on how many people?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
