Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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