theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
