I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
