Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
