i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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