Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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