My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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