I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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