Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize