whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
