dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
