I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
