I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
