I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
