Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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