don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm at about main and main street
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
