also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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