I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
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