Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
