Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
