You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
