I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
