if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
try to milk me bitch
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