I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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