Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
