Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
