All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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