Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
