I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
