omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have aggressive nipples.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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